"i tell everyone i'm fine, when in reality i hate myself"
do you know? everyday, i'm ready to get up and start my day. time to put on that fake smile and pretend like i'm okay.
dear everyone who always read my story.
i write to you from my heart. from the depth of my soul, i cry out to you to listen my despair. over the past weeks i have been desperately and have been in hospital, my worst fear has come true, i have pain. i see death it self standing before me. each day my body grows weaker and weaker drifting further into never ending sleep. i am so afraid, so very afraid of what lay before me. i try to make sense of what is happen to me, but there's no sense at all.
i'm cry from the depth of my heart and soul to be saved from the sadness and destruction of my body. i'm cry for allah to help me trough this despair, hold my hand in the darkness, but my allah can't be found.
feeling and though rush through my mind as it seeks a reason for this pain and suffering. i want to hode, run, but my legs will not carry me. i ask ever since man has been on this earth, what is life? what lay after life? i will not die peacefully y friend, my illness will not permit that, but eventually, if it be allah will, my mind and body will feel peace as allah holds me in his arms again.
